When are you ready to vacation with your significant other?
A question Miss Carrie Bradshaw herself would have pondered, I’m sure. But she was a little more…unchaste than I (no offense SJP!) so I think we might have different answers here.
As I sit here writing this, it’s day 2 of vacation and I have already been visibly irritated with or mad at the BF probably about 5 times. Only child syndrome- but that’s a whole separate can of worms. When you spend a week with someone, you get to know them very well. You get to know the real them. And in relationships, especially young adult relationships, that comes with good and bad.
My boyfriend and I went on our first vacation about 7 months into our relationship. Should I go all “Glamour columnist” and call him by an initial or something? He’ll probably be humiliated that I’m revealing all this info for the world to see. At that time, we were both 17 and I had just graduated high school, and he was coming up on his senior year.
I think that first vacation together was a false test. We just talked about this at the beach this morning. The first year of our relationship consisted of maybe one fight about “you should have texted me first!” or something ridiculous- and that was it. So except for a few moments of irritability with one another, we were basically fine. But that’s because it was based on lies and new-relationship fever.
But here’s how the first one went for us.
1. I wore makeup to bed.
2. I put on makeup before I saw him in the morning.
3. I showered the minute I got back from the beach and not a second later.
4. Oh yeah, I wore makeup to the beach.
5. I was passive, sweet, and ever-indulging.
6. He was passive, sweet, and ever-indulging.
“Hey, what do you want to do?”
“I’m good just laying here on my towel.”
“Oh okay, I thought you might want to go to the water.”
“You want to go to the water? Let’s go to the water.”
“No, you want to lay there. Let’s stay here!”
“No no no you want to go to the water, come on, let’s go”.
I could continue, but you get the point.
7. He was so focused on impressing my family that he wasn’t even himself.
8. This really has nothing to do with it, but I love it. He got a henna tattoo with my name. How hilarious!
9. We spent every waking second together. It’s like that terribly annoying phase where you can’t go ANYWHERE without that person- God forbid they go to the bathroom without letting you know via smoke signal.
I’m summing it up- when you’re 17 and you’re 7 months into a relationship, you are careful how much of yourself to reveal.
Vacation one on left, vacation three on right. See any difference?
Fast forward TWO whole years to today. I’m sitting in the kitchen of the beach house by myself, his sister and her boyfriend are asleep on the couch, he’s in the basement doing homework, and his parents are scattered about somewhere.
I am wearing no makeup, I haven’t washed my hair since I went under in the ocean, and we’ve already had a tiff over riding bikes- twice. What is there to fight about over bike riding? Nothing. It’s just the real world that we’re in now.
We still don’t fight over anything serious, but being together for as long as we have (years wise, not vacation time, obvi) and just being real with each other, we can bicker over the smallest things. It’s hilarious, and most of the time we laugh while we’re doing it, but nonetheless, it is a far cry from our first vacation together.
While our first vacation was fun with the butterflies and the thrill of a new relationship, I would much rather have the real life relationship that we have now, and I know he feels the same. Because we talked about that on the beach today too. We talk about everything. We’re 75 and married, basically.
So what all I’m saying about vacationing with a significant other is this: if you’re going to do it, don’t fake it. Just go all out and be yourself. If they don’t love you after seeing you without makeup, they’re a buttface. But I’m pretty sure they will. Teenage relationships are the most interesting, because you’re still changing and growing as a person.
I have loved growing as a person and in turn watching my relationship grow also. Vacation has been an important part of that too- but only the real vacations. Not the fake ones.