S’cuse My Poor Grammer.

It has recently been brought to my attention that I am completely unfit for a career in journalism.

Albeit, it was by a completely unreliable source, but it was a source nonetheless.

I DEEPLY apologize for my MULTITUDE of grammatical errors and mistakes in my posts. I write my blog the way I talk, and I am not writing a paper or a news article here. I don’t re-read my posts to check for proper placement of periods and parentheses. (Although I did get an A in high school AP English.) For that, I am deeply sorry. The proper placement, obviously not the A. My Lit and Lang test scores got me out of 2 college classes.

Nor do I use put question marks after every question I put in, because that is not how I talk. What?! It’s not!? No. I am not an over-expressive Barbie doll who raises her voice 3 octaves at the end of every question. Whoops, my bad. Maybe I’ll try harder next time.

If you are offended, like some people apparently are, I will certainly not be hurt if you don’t read it again. You can hate me forever, if it makes you feel better, I won’t mind.

Anyway, I am so sorry that I put everyone through that terrible ordeal of reading through my incompetence. Because, of course, I was holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read it.

In conclusion, to quote Jesus, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

DON’T DIY!

This is the most pathetic “follow up post” you’re ever going to read.

I posted probably a month ago that I was going to do a DIY Chevron dresser. Here’s the link if you’d like to catch up….https://paigemwhipple.wordpress.com/2013/05/27/diy-everyone-but-paige-can/

Well, I bought the dresser for $35 at Goodwill and I was good to go. I got the paint, and I have an artist friend who is going to help me with the design.

Image

This is me, stripping my dresser. About hour 3. I look happy. BUT IT SUCKED.

My mother is a control freak.  No, I revise that statement because it doesn’t even begin to describe her. My mother thinks that she is Jesus, Allah, Buddha, and Morgan Freeman all rolled into one person. So she insisted that it would be easier to paint if we (my boyfriend, Rick, and I) stripped it before painting it. So, we did.

The first stripper we put on, we waited for about 3 hours. My mother said we had to wait 4, the directions on the stripper said 30 minutes. So we “compromised”. (Why am I excited to move out? I have no idea…………) When we tried to scrape off the paint, we realized what a mistake we had made. The dresser had probably- no joke- 7 or 8 layers of paint on it. There was white, there was purple, there was lime green. We got off maybe 5% of the paint with stripper #1.

Flash forward a day, to when we got stripper #2. ( I feel like Charlie Sheen talking about all these strippers!) It claimed to work in 15 minutes, so we were ready to get it done and painted. I hate to break it to you dreamers, but what we hope for isn’t always reality. That was over a week ago. Maybe, actually, 2 weeks. And the dresser is still sitting in my garage with all of the sides except for one stripped. I can’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to touch it.

Rick and I spent probably 8 hours doing this dresser so far, and when I say Rick and I, I mean I watched him work on this dresser for 8 HOURS! (He’s amazing, btw. Thanks honey!) Most of the paint finally came off with stripper #2, but what we didn’t know was that there is another chemical you need to take off the stripper residue. It’s a wonder we weren’t pulling an Amanda Bynes with the amount of chemicals we were inhaling.

We scraped, we took off the residue, and we sanded. So now, everything is done except for the one side of the dresser. I still have to strip it, as well as paint the entire thing. Oh, I also have to paint our dining room table. I CAN’T EVEN GO THERE RIGHT NOW. I move in exactly 22 days. But who’s counting. I’m just so tired of this dresser that I don’t think I’ll ever finish.

But in my post when I explained the project, I also said I would post updates on my progress. So in summary, here is my update: I’m not progressing!

I will hopefully finish this soon so my 3 followers can see the finished result. Whoop whoop!